A 63-year-old Indiana woman, Patty Kearney, was watching TV when a burglar entered her home. Patty grabbed a backscratcher and had at him, hitting him with it – and with the burglar’s own wrench – until he ran out the door. If that’s not tough enough, Patty also suffers from lung cancer and pulmonary disease, and uses an oxygen tank to breathe…bravo. Never underestimate your elders. Or the power of a good backscratcher.
There’s an app for everything, and now there’s one for sending photos of your junk. The app is called First Derm, and it’s useful if you notice anything strange happening in your nether regions. Take 2 photos, send them in anonymously, and a doctor sends back a diagnosis. Just make sure these junk pics don’t make it onto your Tinder account.
A man in Arkansas was arrested after harassing a couple in a car, which he believed was an alien spaceship. He also thought the driver was an alien. Cops searched the man, allegedly finding meth and a pipe. He later told police that “he was a very big deal and had 100,000 Asian flowers.” …This, friends, is your brain on drugs.