I hate animals. Cats, dogs, rabbits, goats, snakes, fish...all of em!

I have no use for them. Don't get me wrong, I'd never do one harm, I just don't like them. Sure, I've had pets growing up, but I never really cared for them. We just co-existed.

We had Taboo a shitzu dog. He was my longest pet. He liked to sit down and use only his front paws to drag his ass around the driveway. Cute.

Then there was Gracie, a mutt. I broke Gracie's leg. Totally by accident. I was holding her when she bit me and I dropped her. She started crying, I ran inside and said, "Hey, look at Gracie...something's wrong!" (Chris Life Lesson: Always act like you found it that way...)

When I was young we had some birds nesting in a hole in our garage. I filled the hole with rocks and accidentally crushed all the eggs. I was just trying to protect the family from killer robins.

When I was even younger my parents took me to Colasanti's Tropical Gardens, where they had a rabbit pen set up. Being young and unbalanced, I toppled into the pen full of rabbits. I crapped my pants and have never been back.

I don't want a pet of any kind, and I think it's all because of the poo-factor. I never want to walk down a street and have to bend over to pick up dog poo. I can't think of anything more humiliating.  Or having to grab a scoop and empty the cat litter. Just not my style.

Go to your dog park...dress up your cat...but keep your animals away from me!