1. You know all the words to "If I Had a Million Dollars", including the inter-stanza banter between Steven and Ed. 2. You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly". 3. You experience a warm fuzzy feeling while picturing a fat man with a blonde Mr. Spock haircut giving a recorder recital to an audience of two: an orange and purple sleepy-eyed giraffe with a voice like Lee Marvin and a pin-headed hyper rooster who is made out of a flannel tea cozy and lives in a bag on the wall. 4. You can easily get several people near you to wax nostalgic on this same image (#3). 5. This doesn't bother you at all (#4). 6. You know who Ernie Coombs is. 7. You can still whistle the theme to "The Littlest Hobo". 8. Whenever you hear the word "car", you have to stop yourself from involuntarily reaching back for a hockey net. 9. You remember when Alanis Morisette was "Too Hot To Hold". 10. You have memorized the Heritage Foundation's Heritage Moments, including your favourites, "I smell burnt toast, Doctor", "You all know I canna read a word... (was that REALLY Sarah McLachlan in that one?)", "Of course, the medium is the message", and "Kanata".